Listening skills can be learned, improved, and enhanced. Effective listening not only involves physical motion. Listen to this helpful video and answer the following questions to see how to apply effective active listening techniques to enhance your communication. Then review the key elements discussed in the text below, and practice effective listening skills each day through this easy-to-follow guide. Hearing the words "Yes" and "No," "arest," and "I don't understand" change the way you engage with people.
During discussions, people tend to say things without meaning to, words they don't really know or want to say. To listen effectively, you must be sensitive to these subtleties. People may be saying things like, "You never tell me what you think" or "You never tell me why." Learning effective active listening techniques to adjust your posture, speech patterns, and body language can enhance communication with others.
If you are looking for an enjoyable way to improve your listening skills, try this exercise. Take a few minutes to try to listen to each statement without responding. Listening is easier when it's voluntary. Over a period of time, you will find it easier to listen constructively and listen with more awareness.
"Reflecting back on the speaker made me realize I had said something problematic," said one woman. Taking a pause before speaking can make it easier to reflect back and evaluate your own verbalization. Over time, reflecting back becomes a habit and you begin to notice your speaking becomes more structured and clear.
Another common barrier to effective listening skills is the tendency to assume that everyone is on the same wavelength. When you get into an interactive dialog, especially if the listener switches to a high-modal voice, you may assume that all others hear the same things as you. You need to ask, "Are you hearing what I am saying?" Instead of assuming you understand.
Some people have a wired perception of what they want to hear and this can limit their receptive attitude. Others have a very open mind and tend to tune out distractions. A third type of listener who also has an open attitude is the person who is open to learning new things. These listeners tend to be good at picking up on the subtleties of what is being said.
The more of these common barriers to effective listening skills that you see, the more you will need to pay attention. The more you pay attention, the more you can learn about how to change your behavior to make the other person feel heard. The more you learn about how to change your behavior to make the other person feel heard, the more successful you will be in making and maintaining a good relationship. The more successful you are at making and maintaining a good relationship, the more likely you will experience success in your personal and professional life.
One way to help yourself increase your listening skills is to practice actively listening. This means actively responding to what the other person is saying. You do not have to verbally respond; just responding by sharing your thought or taking in what the other person is saying. The next time you find yourself in a difficult or confusing conversation, make an effort to actively listen. Start by actively listening to what the other person is saying and reflect back to them what they are saying.
Another way to practice active listening and reflection is to ask questions of the speaker. When you ask questions of the speaker, pay attention to how the speaker directs your attention to answer your questions. In addition to directing your attention to the speaker, paying attention to how the speaker guides your attention to answer your questions is a great way to increase your listening skill.
Being an active listener is important in order to build trust between you and your spouse or significant other. Asking questions, reflecting back, and asking questions as the listener puts you in a position to be the active listener and reflector. As the relationship grows and you find yourselves at the beginning of a very deep relationship, being an active listener and reflective can also help you navigate those difficult times. Relationship coaching students who are experiencing these issues find it helpful to enroll in workshops focusing on being an active listener as well as a responsive, reflective listener.
The more you practice the skills of active listening and being a responsive listener, the more receptive you will be with others. As you begin to practice this, you will find yourself making eye contact with people you have not met for quite some time, having more depth of conversation, able to get more information from speakers, and responding to communications from people with whom you do not previously have a relationship. It takes practice and effort to develop this ability. The first step is always knowing how to listen properly. With that knowledge you can be on your way to improving your communication skills, meeting people better, developing trust with others, and putting yourself in a position to be a better spouse, parent, or in-law.
